Edward's First Session
Thank you very much indeed for a wonderful and mind-blowing session yesterday. I started composing this email on the train home, but there was so much that I wanted to say that I've had to finish it off this morning.
Firstly, I'm very sorry that I was unable to perform at the end of the session in the way that you wished. I have to say that, out of all the potential problems that I'd considered in the run up to the session, being unable to come wasn't one of them… I think that at the end of the session I'd reached the point where I'd become slightly numb - partly in a physical sense, and partly in a mental sense. I think that my body and mind, and especially my cock, had had as much sensation and excitement as they could take.
That feeling was probably also linked to how nervous I was before (and during, to be honest) the session. I don't mean that as any kind of comment on the session itself, which was, as I said above, mind-blowing. I guess that nerves were inevitable for my first session, but I'm really sorry if that made me seem unresponsive or disrespectful.
The other thing that I want to apologise for, in advance, is the length of this email...
There was so much in the session that was just utterly amazing that it's difficult to know where to start. I loved the outfit that you selected for me, the way I looked in it and the way that the part of the session in the medical room built up. I really liked being in bondage in the examination chairs, and I really, really liked being bound with my legs up in the stirrups so that my ass was exposed like a true anal slut. The feeling of being so helpless while I was penetrated is one that I'm going to remember for a long time, as is the way I looked when I saw myself in the mirror.
I'd given myself several enemas in my hotel room yesterday morning, to try to make sure that I was very clean before I arrived. I think that for that reason, holding the enema that you gave me wasn't as much of a problem as it might have been, but I was still quite nervous about spilling it when the first plug was put in. However, the feeling of that big plug shocking into my ass was, well, electrifying.
The combination of poppers and bondage was also really exciting; I really liked the combination of the poppers and the rebreather bag. As I'm writing this, I can still see your hand clamping the mask down over my face… Again, that feeling of being helpless and becoming more helpless with every breath was sublime.
I know that for some people poppers make them really hard, but I've not really found them to have this effect on me. I can usually come while poppered up, but I definitely have a sense of them making it more difficult. This is probably something that I should have mentioned pre-session given that I'd talked about how much I liked using them...
The final part of the session, in the body bag, was fantastic. By that stage, even the room itself was quite intimidating for me, but the feeling of being totally bound and immobile and yet exposed and at your mercy (have I mentioned that I loved feeling helpless?) was tremendously exciting. The electro stim sometimes turned from pleasure to painful (I guess that's the point of it!) but when I think about that part of the session, I keep going back to how how it felt to be totally rubberised and restrained, but with my cock exposed, and how amazing the sensations were. The other thing I remember vividly is the incredible mix of humiliation and excitement that I felt when you brought your assistant in to the room while I was bound, blindfolded and at the mercy of the electro stim...
So, while I obviously and fervently wish that I hadn't disappointed you at the end of the session, the things that I experienced were so incredible that I don't look back and think "I would have enjoyed it a lot more if I'd come"; I look back and think "the whole thing was amazing."
Looking at the "Post Session Feedback" section of the questionnaire: Was this what you expected? I didn't really know what to expect at all.
Was it better or worse than you hoped? Better - we did loads of the things that I'd mentioned by email and on the questionnaire; more than I'd thought would be possible. The whole session was beyond anything I'd imagined!
How was it different from what you expected? It was more "overwhelming" for me than I'd thought it would be.
What, if anything, would you have changed? I wish that I had been less of a disappointment at the end of the session... The only other thing was that while I was in the body bag, my head and neck became quite painful in the posture collar and so I couldn't see quite so much in the mirror and the pain was a bit distracting. I have a whiplash injury which doesn't cause me many problems day to day, but I think it made that part of the session a bit difficult for me.
In an ideal world I guess I would have given my neck a bit of a rest from the collars. Having said that, I appreciate that a posture collar isn't designed for my own comfort!
What did you like best? It's difficult to choose, but I think my two absolute favourites would be being having my ass exposed and penetrated in the examination chair, and having my cock exposed and stimulated while restrained in the body bag.
What would you like to do next time? If I was allowed to visit again, then I think I'd beg to be dilated and penetrated in the examination chair and plead to be put into the vacuum bag with an extra large plug sealed inside me.
Final thoughts? I think my final thoughts can be summed up as "I really want to do this again".
You asked me to say how I thought I could improve my performance. As I said at the outset, not being able to come wasn't a problem that I was expecting to encounter. I suspect that, at that stage in the session, I would just have needed too much time to recover and get my head together. If I'd been right on the edge of coming then I think that lots of the final elements of the session would have been flawless, especially the "no more air until you come" part.
As it was, I think I was just too frazzled and ended up a bit anxious and frantic. I think that, if you allowed me to visit you again, then I'd be much less nervous and hopefully able to respond a lot more openly and emphatically.
If I haven't tested your patience too much already, then I'd definitely like to try to arrange another session.
Can I offer my thanks once again to your assistant for her help in dressing and undressing me? I hadn't really thought about how that would all work prior to the session, but she was absolutely brilliant, very kind and I really, really appreciated it.
Finally, thank you very much indeed for your time and attention yesterday. Hopefully, if I haven't managed anything else in this email, I've let you know how grateful I am.
With my best wishes,